Lets buy off the Falkland Islanders

The Heresiarch suggests we just give the Falkland Islands to the Argentines. They’re expensive, pointless things to own so I’ll sign up to this plan. But, I think it would be fairer to pay off the islanders than to just abandon them.

£750,000 will buy you this farm in Scotland: the weathers shit and the company’s miserable so they should fit right in. £1,000,000 a family should do it and would only cost £1 billion pounds. Let put that in context; it cost £260 million  to just shell and bomb Libya and they’re basically on our doorstep. A billion on the Falklands is an investment that would pay off in no time and we may even be able to raise some or all of the money from the Argentines themselves!

I’ve heard that it is worthwhile keeping the islands because there might be oil there. Bullshit I say. I pay whatever the international going rate for energy is. Sure, lets use the navy to secure natural resources and superprofits for firms-registered-in-but-barely-operating-in-Britain, but don’t tell it is something in my interests.

Get rid of rocks in the middle of the Atlantic, they are invariable poor investments (apart from Saint Helena).