Finance: Fake Capitalists’ Favourite Industry since 1929

Apparently this has been doing the rounds for some time. I think it is meant to make the blood run hot in any capitalist:

“We are Wall Street. It’s our job to make money. Whether it’s a commodity, stock, bond, or some hypothetical piece of fake paper, it doesn’t matter. We would trade baseball cards if it were profitable. I didn’t hear America complaining when the market was roaring to 14,000 and everyone’s 401k doubled every 3 years. Just like gambling, its not a problem until you lose. I’ve never heard of anyone going to Gamblers Anonymous because they won too much in Vegas.

Well now the market crapped out, & even though it has come back somewhat, the government and the average Joes are still looking for a scapegoat. God knows there has to be one for everything. Well, here we are.

Go ahead and continue to take us down, but you’re only going to hurt yourselves. What’s going to happen when we can’t find jobs on the Street anymore? Guess what: We’re going to take yours. We get up at 5am & work till 10pm or later. We’re used to not getting up to pee when we have a position. We don’t take an hour or more for a lunch break. We don’t demand a union. We don’t retire at 50 with a pension. We eat what we kill, and when the only thing left to eat is on your dinner plates, we’ll eat that.

For years teachers and other unionized labor have had us fooled. We were too busy working to notice. Do you really think that we are incapable of teaching 3rd graders and doing landscaping? We’re going to take your cushy jobs with tenure and 4 months off a year and whine just like you that we are so-o-o-o underpaid for building the youth of America. Say goodbye to your overtime and double time and a half. I’ll be hitting grounders to the high school baseball team for $5k extra a summer, thank you very much.

So now that we’re going to be making $85k a year without upside, Joe Mainstreet is going to have his revenge, right? Wrong! Guess what: we’re going to stop buying the new 80k car, we aren’t going to leave the 35 percent tip at our business dinners anymore. No more free rides on our backs. We’re going to landscape our own back yards, wash our cars with a garden hose in our driveways. Our money was your money. You spent it. When our money dries up, so does yours.

The difference is, you lived off of it, we rejoiced in it. The Obama administration and the Democratic National Committee might get their way and knock us off the top of the pyramid, but it’s really going to hurt like hell for them when our fat a**es land directly on the middle class of America and knock them to the bottom.

We aren’t dinosaurs. We are smarter and more vicious than that, and we are going to survive. The question is, now that Obama & his administration are making Joe Mainstreet our food supply…will he? and will they?”

I was direct towards this by Tyler and FT’s Alphaview, both of whom seem somewhat impressed. My initial reaction, is that people working in Finance sound like dicks. My second reaction was that they sound like idiots.

First of all there is the Lump of Labour Fallacy, there are not a set amount of jobs in an economy and no finance whizz will ever, can ever, steal a job from someone else. I would have thought that Wall Street understood basic econo… actually, nevermind.

Secondly, there is the massive fundamental attribution error. People in finance are not special. They make lots of money because of where they are working, not because they are special. Sure these people are smart, but ~90% of those working in Finance are replaceable.

Next up is the Class War, and it deserves the capitalisation. Describe Fox Hunting as an upper class pursuit and you are hounded for it. Call inheritance tax fair because it equalises opportunities and you are exploiting the politics of envy. On the other hand, call those educating your children, keeping your garden and making your car “lazy cunts” and you are just expressing what every “hard working banker” is thinking.

Finally there is the arrogance: “Do you really think that we are incapable of teaching 3rd graders?” Wall Street ask. “Yeah,” I would reply, “the kids would eat you alive”. You evidently have no social skills (judging from the above) and a room full of gobby 8 year olds would leave you for dead. I’m not sure if there is a cognitive bias to cover this, but it is something along the lines of “I am good at X, therefore I am good at everything.”

The inspirational speech above is a little window into the odd world of the self-appointed Capitalist elite.

Some people support Capitalism because they think it gets results, some because it seems the least bad option, some because they can’t think of a better alternative, some because it is the only morally right system. It seems some on Wall Street support capitalism because they think people are scum; and that only Capitalism ensures the scum can be chastised appropriately.

We aren’t dinosaurs. We are smarter and more vicious than that, and we are going to survive.

Something suggests to me that this arrogance is misplaced – this seems like good news to me. I am certainly going to enjoy watching these “more-vicious- than-velociraptor” bankers  learn this fact the hard way.


3 thoughts on “Finance: Fake Capitalists’ Favourite Industry since 1929

  1. Diddums, he’s worried that Joe Public is being mean to him and his pals and he’s throwing his toys out of the pram. Aw, bless. Thinks he could do any other job? That’s a product of the psychosis these fools are plagued by. Put this joker on a construction site for six days a week shoveling wet cement or carrying bricks and he might understand what working for a living means.
    No, by the way, I don’t think you could teach third graders – part of a teachers job is to turn out well-rounded individuals.

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