1.67 MILLION spoof stories appeared since Labour came to power mocking the fine BRITISH reporting of The Daily Mail.
In fact, calculations by the Tax Payers Dalliance show that PERHAPS a shocking 103.5% of stories were written by the Daily Quail.
But, with the slow sickening death rattle of our sick Parliament in our ears it appears this notorious PERVERT has ceased writing.
You couldn’t make it up  but this is no time for celebrations as now one bogey man has disappeared, we’ve found MANY OTHERS.
They’re springing up everywhere and they’re probably taking drugs.
Yes, didn’t I mention that? They’re on drugs, especially that one hard working Teachers can’t confiscate because of the ‘elf and safety NAZIS.
…and they’re giving it to your kids! (Yes, that’s it – ed) So look out!
The Quail is Dead. Long live the Quail!
 and sadly I’m not *sniff*