If Only

The Conservatives ‘Bubbly’ Leader

Today the Tory’s health man Andrew Lansley said the “units”-based system of alcohol labeling was “clearly confusing”. The Conservatives would create a new system based on centilitres of alcohol.

It’s likely the policy was born out of this year’s Conservative Party conference. Tory MPs were told to not drink champagne – and failed. Even the champagne party’s leader little Dave Cameron was pictured drinking the pop. For a Tory – working out how to not drink bubbly is clearly confusing. So they’ve decided the system’s got to change.

We can’t go on like this ay Dave?

NO TRUST

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg announced a series of commitments on gay rights. They included allowing civil partnerships to be called “marriage”, forcing faith schools to tackle homophobia and allowing gay men to give blood.

Clegg complimented Labour for its gay rights track record and said Dave Cameron was “very difficult to trust” on the issue. If only we knew what Dave really thought.

HELP

In the shadow of the earthquake in Haiti Gordon Brown said his government “will respond with emergency aid in firefighters, in emergency equipment and finance and will give further support to help the people of Haiti recover from this devastating event.”

CHANGE

And the former leader of anti-European Union party UKIP Nigel Farage said there will be a “mass of legislation” from the EU parliament later this year. On the newly appointed EU commissioner Baroness Ashton, Farage warned “she has real power , she’ll have thousands of employees”. If only you knew what that felt like, ay Nigel?

If only…

(Cross posted from Dead Goose)

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